Intense meditation awakening and what I´ve learned from it!

Consciousness Journal Entry # 28SET20

WARNING: Spiritual and Heart-Felt Content!

Feeling funny fun today, happy, light, expansive, connected, sometimes still in my head, especially regarding other people, communicating when I desire, when I just want to say hi and ask something or give a compliment, but on the inside much calmer, peaceful, steady per se.

Yesterday during my last meditation practice, at some point I felt like I was having a heart attack or something, felt very overwhelmed and very hot and at the same time cold chills, like cold sweat dripping down all of my body, outside and inside, top to bottom, at one moment I even thought that I was all wet, soaked from it, but it was all my mind impression. The interesting thing is that this was not the first time something like this happened during meditation or something energy and spiritual related, but the grand difference was that at those other times I stopped and went to the windows, catch my breath, clear my mind and receive the breeze to calm my body down, but this time, I just kept still, seated, present and aware of everything I was feeling and experiencing, it was very intense, for a long time, truly felt like something was wrong, but, I just stayed with it, looking at it, observing, the heat, the cold, the rapid beating of my heart, the supposed sweat slowly slipping down my body, what I was thinking about it, what I was feeling about it, the silence in it, I just kept being present, aware and conscious, I went forward with it instead of backing off of it, and it was very cool, amazing, superb, slowly everything started to calm down, bit by bit, and then it stopped, I was still aware of it, but then, I came back to the present moment, and felt much lighter and in peace. What I get out of it is that sometimes, in life, things get tough, we´re challenged, things don’t turn out or go according to our expectations, something very drastic suddenly happens or appears, and our first reaction (or should I say, our reaction, period.) is to back off, complain, think about everything that is wrong with it, use it as an excuse to not do or be what we want and must be and do, and so, with this very intense experience I came to the realization that, in those times, if we just keep going, if we focus on the present moment and in being aware of it all without judgment, just being there, without having to figure it out, without having to understand all of it or just a tiny bit of it, without having to solve it or move from with, but instead, just observe it and move with it, that it will naturally dissolve, and in it´s place there will be more awareness, there will be something that we´ve been wanting, that we know we need, there will be everything we are willing to see and allow into our experience, in its core it will always be the source from where we are and that we are, it will be an expression of love, kindness, calm, peaceful energy, it will be awareness and consciousness, it will be enthusiasm and excitement rolled into a very soft and beautiful and yummy ball of energy right in the center of our being, in our heart, that it will expand and pervade all of our being, all the space that we are and occupy, and it will transform and create greater, at the subtlest level as at the more visible and impactful level, this is what I believe regarding this that happened not to me, but for me, and everything that is happening not to me, but for me, in my life and that may come to happen in the unfolding of it.